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The new HydroMat2000 is the very latest in aquatic chi-balancing technology. Made of sturdy DurAlloy47® and PlastiBlast29, the HydroMat2000 is built to handle the toughest energy-rebalancing work that can be imagined. Powered by simple household electrical current, bee pollen, concentrated H2SO4, and our special irridium formulation, IrriDex® (patent pending), the HydroMat2000 expresses radioactive heavy-metal compounds well within international safety standards set by three of the states of the former Soviet Union, as well as Rhodesia and Colombia.
In partnership with the German company, ÜberSchönigInMaß, and the Finnish/Swedish company, KlørÅsaTeck, H2OCo is proud to announce a three-tiered product line.
HydroMat2000 Basic® is a no-frills chi-balancer suitable for low-volume chi maintenance. Although all H2OCo offerings are passed through a rigorous one-point safety inspection, the HydroMat2000 Basic passes its savings on to you by avoiding costly factory inspections and needless consumer protection insurance.
For safety-minded individuals, the HydroMat2000 Secure® is a safety-inspector's dream. Its noiseless, motionless, actionless operation simulates total inertia while consuming twice as much power as the Basic model. The patented GroundEx grounding cables dissipate the power harmlessly and safely into the surrounding environment. Chi-balancing, however, is not as effective in our Secure model as in other models in the HydroMat2000 line.
Our deluxe model, HydroMat2000 SuperDuper, is a top-of-the-line machine. Excellent for balancing chi, doing the laundry, spanking the children, and harvesting grain, the SuperDuper is preferred in over 10-10 of 100,000 households tested in the Ivory Coast and Gambia. Remember: if you start to glow, please consult a DeTox® official in your area for immediate assistance.
The HydroMat2000 is lovely. It killed my husband. Thanks, HydroMat2000!
Mrs. Ørd Nördstrøm, Reykjavick, Iceland
Grüß Gott! Ich liebe dich, und will eine Limonade haben. Wo ist das Kloh? (HydroMat2000 makes me thirsty!)
Fräulein Hörstina Blooblich, Berlin, Germany
Vous n'avez jamais pénétré dans cette grotte. (I like HydroMat2000 because it makes me think of Debussy's Pelléas et Mélisande.)
M. François Blé, Paris, France
Copyright © 2000 H2OCo, All Rights Reserved.
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Copyright © 2001 Michael Masumoto. All Rights Reserved.